All The Single Moms

Before, or even after I had kids really, I never thought much about what it meant to be a single mom. Growing up, my parents divorced when I was nine, but my dad was always really involved and we saw him practically every day.

When my girls were little, I stayed home and worked (very) part time jobs here and there, mostly for the perks of things like free Gymboree classes, discounted preschool tuition, etc. I rarely had help. It wasn’t hard to me, it was all I ever knew. If the girls needed to be somewhere, I got them there. I had an occasional “babysitter” in my (then) husband.

As the girls got older and became more involved, I figured out how to make it work. But still, I was not working full time, so it was fairly easy to manage. Then I divorced, they got older, and I was (truly) on my own.

It does get harder to manage. Figuring out how to get each kid from one place to the next. But it works. We make it work.

Miss M has been gone this entire weekend. She had two days full of choir competitions that brought her home after ten Friday and Saturday night. Which meant two things to me. I couldn’t have wine and I actually had to stay up past nine. I’m not much of a night owl folks.

But what this weekend did get me was some quality time with my youngest. And she said something to me on Friday as I forced her to work in the yard with me that made all this worth it.

“Mama, have you noticed that me and M aren’t fighting that much anymore?” She asked.

I thought about it for a minute and said, “You know what? I have sort of noticed that, except for the mornings, you guys still fight a LOT in the mornings.”

“Yeah, I guess we do. But we decided to stop fighting most of the time because we know you are the only one taking care of us. And we are trying to make it easier for you.” She said in her most sincere little V voice.

“Thanks, V, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” I said with a hug and a kiss.

And that, my friends, is why every time I bitch and moan about how I can’t do this, and how this is too hard, and how I’ll never be able to get them here there and everywhere, I need to stop and think.

Think about how my kids know. Know that I love them. Know that they appreciate me. Know that they love me.

So all the Single Moms, put your hands up. Your kids know it too.