Author: elTaller

Sometimes I look up ex-boyfriends and frenemies on Facebook. Don’t give me that look. You know you do it, too! I love it when some jerk who treated me like crap turns out to be fat, bald, and thrice divorced. Those are the days when Karma is my besty. I just knew that’s what I was going to find yesterday when I was trolling for The One Who Drove Away. We’ll call him D.C. It’s short for douche canoe. Here’s…

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When I was very young – elementary school aged – I wanted to be a writer. I had a very lonely childhood with no siblings at home and no neighbors with which to play. I did have my imagination and my babysitter’s endless stream of soap operas. I had several imaginary friends and even an imaginary dog. (My mother swears Rover was the best pet we ever had.) I would spend my days creating little dramas for them. As I…

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It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of The TO’s parents. In fact, The TO has taken to rewarding me for good behavior during forced family togetherness. You might call it a bribe but I prefer reward. Potayto-potahto, blah, blah, blah. My KitchenAid stand mixer? The result of a 4 day weekend at Cedar Point. With 30 members of The TO’s family. And I had to stay in an 600 square foot cabin with my MIL. Totally NOT worth…

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I was watching my second favorite elf, Dr. Oz, last week. The topic was metabolism boosters after the age of 40. Dr. Oz opened the show with this tidbit of inspiration “Turning 40 is a grim milestone. Your body’s first step towards death.” Now I’m 18 years old with almost 22 years of experience (think about it) so this was not what I wanted to hear on a happy, childless afternoon. I depend on Dr. Oz for advice like “Your…

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If The Toaster Oven were a dwarf, he’d be Sleepy. He’s very tall so that doesn’t even make sense but you get the picture. The man likes to sleep. A LOT. There were a couple of times in college when The TO didn’t get out of bed till 6 pm. That is NOT an exaggeration. I have seen him take a nap on a rock. (We were on a family hike and his mother suggested a little rest period for him. I’m surprised she didn’t give…

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Last Thursday night I went to a community dinner theater with my friend, grimmgirl, and her lit club. The food wasn’t great but we had a good time anyway. I work with about 15 therapists. Three of us showed up to do the prep. Enough said. The party went well. Grimmgirl and her son helped run the go fish game. (Thanks!) My oldest was obnoxious and inappropriate much of the night. I came very close to killing him but opted…

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I have to admit that we had a wonderful trip to NC. There was very little drama. Which makes for a great visit but a boring blog post. On Saturday the wives took the kids to a festivus whilst the husbands drank beer and watched sports. (All 3 kiddos LOST IT by the end of the evening but we won’t talk about that. Or mention the fact that I was screeching I HAVE HAD IT as steam blew out my…

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When something happens and the first thing you do is put it out on Facebook, you know it’s a big deal.  Kind of like my incident with a grocery stocker and a package of hamburger buns.  That’s right, hamburger buns. Some may have read the Facebook update so you know what happened.  Let me recreate the scene for you so you can understand just how I could get so upset at one miserable old man. I had gone to the grocery…

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One thing I didn’t really take into consideration when getting a puppy is the expense you will endure for random issues. Sure, you know about getting shots and getting their nails trimmed, etc. That’s all in the ‘already know beforehand’ file. Today was a bit different and I want to share my day regarding the pup. Step by step. Also, there’s a pic at the end. Now you will definitely read on… 1. Dropped puppy off at the vet before…

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One of the best things about blogging is the fact that you get to steal ideas from other bloggers. Crap. Borrow, you get to borrow ideas from other bloggers. This is a community pool right? What makes this okay (in my eyes) is that borrowing ideas when you can’t seem to get into a writing groove helps out tremendously. Which is where I am at. Dealing with Sprocket Ink and Studio30 Plus is one thing, writing random is again turning…

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