Category: Uncategorized

*This is an excerpt from a conversation I had with my son shortly after I hung up the wok and started snuggling.* “Mom? How many followers do you have now?” “I don’t have any followers.” “Didn’t you have like a thousand?” “No. Not hardly. I think I around 600.” “What happened to them? Did you make all of them mad?” “No. I don’t have a follower widget anymore.” “So people hate you now, right?” “No. I. Just. Don’t. Have. A.…

Read more

Instead of watching the fireworks with family and friends, I was sitting in a dive bar chain smoking and drowning my sorrows in Long Island Iced Teas. I dragged my friend, Judy, along with me. Everyone knows misery loves an audience and a designated driver. It had been a year to the day since the last time I saw Sam. A year since he {literally} dumped me at Super America. A year of pushing people away. A year of honing…

Read more

So I have 2 very rambunctious boys. Sometimes things get broken at my house. A few days ago they broke the doorknob in my bathroom. The door would no longer lock or shut completely. The TO is not the most handy person in the world. Which is to say he hires out everything from painting to major renovations. His theory? He’d rather work overtime and pay someone to do the manual labor. Nonetheless, I begged and pleaded and may have…

Read more

When I arrived home from a hellish family vacation I had this eloquent message on my answering machine: “Hope y’all had a good trip. It’s been really rainy here. By the way, Michelle’s dead.” It was from my friend Susan. Michelle was a friend of ours from high school and college. We were all pretty good pals during our senior year. We did the usual small town activities – drank Boone’s farm, sneaked cigarettes in the girls’ bathroom, skipped school,…

Read more

When my hair started falling out I didn’t even notice. I was too busy. Too distracted. Too depressed. I was living with my soon-to-be-husband. We were engaged but not in your typical ‘We’re so in love; we can’t wait to get married’ way. We were more the ‘We don’t even really like each other right now but our parents are bugging the shit out of us about living in sin so we’ll pretend we’re getting married and shut everyone up’…

Read more

It’s no secret that I’m broke and on a half arsed debt diet. It’s half arsed because the arse that I’m married to isn’t really on board. My latest money saving measure has been turning the thermostat down. It’s getting pretty frigid here in KY and I’ve had the heat on since September. We used to keep the thermostat set at 72. (Or 75 if my sheets felt super cold and the flannel ones were dirty and The TO was…

Read more

1 – Where aside from a toilet have you taken a dump? Explain. Ummm…maybe the bed whilst birthing my child but that’s on the list of Things We Don’t Talk About so I don’t know for sure. And 11 years later I don’t really want to know. 2 – Would you wrestle a member of the same sex, nude, in pudding for 10 minutes for one million dollars? Ten minutes is a long time but one million dollars is a…

Read more

Our town has an annual event called The Festival Of Trees. Businesses decorate Christmas trees and they are sold with the profits going to our arts center. People pay to see the display and everyone votes on their favorite. This year *someone* decided that our office needed to enter The Festival Of Trees. Our theme is “It’s Ok To Be Different” – very fitting for a gang who works with disabled children. *Someone* ordered craft kits from Oriental Trading so…

Read more

That thought runs through my head at least twice a day. Sometimes I even manage to scribble the general idea down on a post it or McDonalds receipt. But for some reason I never quite get around to writing a blog post. My youngest son asks to me have another baby. Followed by a lecture from my oldest on the dangers of “old women” getting pregnant. And I think, “I should blog about that.” My parents may finally be moving back to my…

Read more

I have been preparing for Halloween for weeks now. You may be surprised by this as I’m not one to write about home decor or crafts. I realized that I’m being selfish. I need to share my patented Halloween decorating techniques with the Blogosphere. Snuggle Wasteland’s Cheap And Natural Halloween Decorating: 1. Don’t dust anything. Dirt is spooky y’all. (I’ve been working on this one since June.) 2. Don’t kill spiders or sweep away their webs. Mother Nature has given…

Read more