Don’t Ask Me. No, Really, Don’t

I realized something the other day.  I’m not a good advice-giver.  Oh, I like to think I am, but really?  Not so much.

There are exactly three things you can take my advice on:

1.  Cheap Wine – I will steer you in the right direction here.  I know which bottle is worth the four bucks and which ones you can skip.  Truth.  I’m a bit of a cheap wine connoisseur, if I may brag on myself a bit.

2.  Television – Any genre.  Reality, Dramas, Comedy, Television featuring teenagers but have adult story-lines, all of it.  I’m your t.v. girl.

3.  Lazy Parenting – I’ve got this down.  It involves lots of television (again), and only letting your child be involved in one activity at a time.

That’s it.  Anytime you need to know about any of those things, I’m here for you.  Oh and depending on what else is going on in my life, you can ask me about books.  Not lately though.  No time for breathing, much less reading.

Even though I am bad at advice, I LOVE to give it.  Love it.  Oh, you should totally do this, or that, sure ultimatums are a GREAT idea, yep you should TOTALLY chop all of your hair off.  I’m full of advice.  You can listen if you want, maybe take some of.  At your own risk, of course.

But whatever you do, don’t take my advice on these things.

Relationships.  I do love to give relationship advice.  I really do.  But, wow, why would anyone EVER take relationship advice from me?  Let’s just say, relationships are not my strong suit.  Unless we are talking about friendships.  I rock those.

So if I ever try to give you relationship advice, just look at me and nod your head.  Maybe tell me I’m pretty.  That works every time.

Career.  I’ve been working a job I really don’t like for the past two years, and now still working it, plus another job that I happen to love while still trying to figure out how to halfway hold on to the one that I don’t like.  It’s crazy.  And convoluted.  You’d be better off asking one of my kids for career advice. And they know less than nothing.

Anything related to organization.  I’m the worst.  For real.  We’ve forgotten M’s guitar lesson twice already this summer.  I moved the lesson because, get this, I wanted to be more organized and that was a better time.  Then, promptly forgot.

Here’s a bin of crap in my office room that I need to “go through” and file/put away.  That stuff has been in there for roughly three years.

It will be there until my kids graduate. Approximately.

In summary; I’m a super cool girl to hang with.  Just don’t look for any insight.  At least not about anything that matters.