It’s My Party

I am very non confrontational. Very. Since I’ve had kids, I’ve gotten over this a bit. I’ll stick up for them before I’ll stick up for myself. And in relationships, I’ll admit to being very passive aggressive. I say things like, “whatever,” “it’s fine,” “I’m not mad.” When I most certainly AM mad and it is NOT fine. Probably why I stayed in a horrible, terrible, marriage for fourteen years. Moving on.

When it comes to the interwebs and my bloggity blog though, I TRY not to be this way. If I’m mad about something, I say it. Mad about something that happened at school with my kids? I say it. Mad about something that happened with the asshole ex? SAY it. This is my space not to hold things in.

But I rant about things that apply to me. Just me. Or my kids, or my job or something relating to ME. I do not use my blog, or my Facebook page, or the Twitter to cut people down about their choices. Unless you are trying to force your opinions down my throat, at that point I probably will. But again, it applies directly to ME.

So now that I’ve had a moment to talk about me, me, me, I’ll get to the point of this post. And I do have one. I promise. Over the weekend, I was perusing The Twitter, and I read something that really struck me the wrong way. It wasn’t aimed at me specifically (at least I don’t think so), but it applied to me. And it really hurt my feelings. It wasn’t mean specifically. Just rude. And better than. Like the author of the comment thought they were better than the people who did that specific thing he/she was commenting on.

I’m not going to say what it was. There’s no reason to call out this person specifically. And if you know what I’m talking about PLEASE don’t call the person out in my comments or publicly on The Twitter. I’ll talk to you about it, just email me or send me a DM. I’m not sure WHY I’ve let that one little comment get to me the way that I have. But the fact is, I have.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my blog and my twitter following, etc. Thinking about what I want it to be. What I’m doing with my spaces, if you will. What I’m not doing is making money. I don’t think I’m ambitious enough, honestly. I’m not going to tell stories and say that I don’t care about numbers and comments. I do. But I don’t think I care about them in the way of, I want a lot of them. I care about them in the way that I care about people coming to a party. If I’m having a party, of course I want people to come. But I want my friends to come. And I want them to tell me how cute my house is and how delicious my food is. I don’t want to invite someone just because I want a lot of people there. Especially if those people I invited “just for the numbers” are going to make bitchy comments that hurt my real friend’s feelings.

That’s how I’m going to start thinking about my blog and my social media accounts. It’s my party. I’m going to invite who I want. Sure, others may show up. They may mingle and be perfectly nice. Awesome. I LOVE those nice people who show up that I didn’t expect. I may meet my new best friend that way. But please don’t show up, make a bitchy comment about my house, or houses like mine, and then leave. You won’t be welcome the next time.

It’s the main message in life I teach my girls. You don’t have to like everyone. It’s damn near impossible to like everyone. Stand up for yourself, but at the same time, don’t cut others down. There’s no reason for it.

I may be trimming my guest list a bit. I’m a bit tired of those “friends of friends” that are always bringing down the mood, by saying they don’t like my friend’s clothes or the kind of beer I bought sucks.

But I AM still looking for the occasional crasher. New party friends are the best.