Our town has an annual event called The Festival Of Trees.
Businesses decorate Christmas trees and they are sold with the profits going to our arts center. People pay to see the display and everyone votes on their favorite.
This year *someone* decided that our office needed to enter The Festival Of Trees. Our theme is “It’s Ok To Be Different” – very fitting for a gang who works with disabled children.
*Someone* ordered craft kits from Oriental Trading so our therapy kiddos could be-deck the tree with their own creations.
Sounds lovely, right?
Most of the trees in this festival look like this:
The overall look varies but you get the picture. They are all very ‘fancy’, have a theme, and generally look gorgeous.
Our tree looks something like this:
Only it’s white with blue lights and has ghetto ornaments on it.
I think it was purchased from Big Lots.
Today we discovered that the arts center “doesn’t want sad trees” and “need pretty ones to make money”. Also, if your tree doesn’t sell you HAVE to buy it for $300.
We spent 2 hours brainstorming on how to save our pitiful tree.
At one point some Not Martha decided that we were going to make wee crutches to hang on the tree and have Tiny Tim sitting in a wheelchair underneath it. There was talk of making a tree skirt with little crutch prints stamped on it.
Because a Tiny Tim tree is the opposite of a sad tree, y’all.
Later someone was threatening to get a hacksaw and plywood in order to fashion an upside down tree.
“Maybe if we confuse people they won’t notice how badly we suck.”
Many of the therapists were pretending to be invisible lest they be recruited to Save The Tree.
I was kicking myself for not having my camera but celebrating the fact that my co-workers don’t know my new url.
Also, I was wishing to be Jewish. I could play the religion card and be excused from this whole fiasco.
PS *Someone* is my boss.