What I Learned At My Son’s Slumber Party

1. My friend, Hayley (aka grimmgirl), is a SAINT. She let Jackson (the little brother) stay at her house most of the weekend. Also, Haley gave me a hiding place and a cup of coffee during the party.

2. My 11 year isn’t perfect but he isn’t a bad kid, either. At least not when compared to some of his friends.

3. The TO can be helpful with enough nagging and bitching.

4. The TO will ALWAYS expect payment for said helpful behavior. Even if the house is full of screaming children. He got a Thank You, a hand slap (or two), and an IOU that will never be fulfilled.

5. Eleven year old boys SMELL. I’ve used a can of Lysol and a can of Febreze fabric refresher on my basement in the last 2 days.

6. Four am is much more fun when I’m in Vegas with my buddies than when I’m threatening to call kids’ parents if they don’t shut the eff up.

7. The TO is much nicer than I am. I’m the one who kicked out the baseball bat wielding/stick stabbing/cap gun shooting/serial killer to be kid. He called his mother and she wouldn’t answer her cell phone. I’m sure she didn’t want him either.

5. Some kids are assholes. I’m looking at you kid, from # 7. And you, kid who stole things. And you, kid who cursed and flipped everyone off every 5 minutes.

9. My mother is a saint. I didn’t have a perfect childhood (who did?) but I had quite a few sleepovers in my teeny, tiny childhood home. Yes, I called her yesterday and thanked her.

10. Clearly, I have lost my mind. The TO and I are already planning for an end of the school year extravaganza.