When The Butterfly Is Not So Social

I am feeling quiet. Which is kind of weird for me. I’m never quiet. Like, ever.

But right now, I am.

I’m not sure why, other than the fact that I think all that is going on in my life has finally taken it’s toll to the point where I have nothing else to say about it. I’m okay. My kids are okay. Everyone is healthy.

I’m just tired of complaining. Sick of hearing myself complain. And when I sit down to write something for my blog, I feel the word vomit rising up in my throat. And spilling out with the negativity. And when I log on to The Twitter or even The Facebook for that matter, I am tempted. Tempted by hearing people say, “Oh, my job sucks.” To which *I* would say, “You think your job sucks? Do you have an hour or ten for me to tell you about mine?” Or someone else may say, “I’m so sick of my ex, he only gets my kids every other week.” To which *I* would say, “Do you have a week? Or maybe a year? Let me tell you all the ways in which MY ex sucks.”

And I’m tired of that. Sick of it, if you will.

I’m writing a lot for school and it feels good. It feels good to write things that I’m proud of, that I have no emotional attachment to, other than the fact that it was written by me. At first, I hated the structure of writing for school. The rules. The constraints. But now, I think I need it.

I’m working on a new site. I want to continue working on it. I’m hoping to have it up in a few weeks. I’m not sure if I’ll write here again. I might. I just don’t know yet.

But I think for the next little while, I need to enjoy my family. And reading. And mindless television. The things that make me happy. And stay away from the complaints. The chatter. The noise.

If you know me at all, this won’t last long. I’ll be chomping at the bit to yap someone’s ear off by the weekend. Or maybe I won’t. Who knows.

But for now, I think I’ll enjoy the silence a bit longer.