Write a screenplay. Because I said so.

I’ve been blogging for a year and a half and I’ve been lurking around the blogosphere even longer than that. I *know* there are many talented writers in the world who haven’t been discovered yet. I read your blogs every day. You’ve made me laugh. You’ve made me cry. You’ve made me think about important issues such as vajazzling.

Please, people. I implore you. START WRITING SOME SCREENPLAYS, WILL YA????? I can’t be the only one who feels that 90% of the movies shown in theaters aren’t worthy of a day’s wages and 2 hours of my valuable time. Yesterday I saw Tron with The TO and kidlets. Gah – I hate it when I get all nice and family bond-y. I could have been home shopping online whilst watching Teen Mom 2 – in my yoga pants. To be fair I was rewarded with a tub of buttered popcorn the size of a small toddler. I had some Raisinets, too so the afternoon could not be labeled a Total Waste of Time. Don’t judge me. Raisinets totally count as a fruit serving.

Here’s a confession for you: I found Tron to be much more confusing than Inception. I don’t know if that speaks more towards my intelligence – or lack thereof – or towards what a crappy movie Tron was.

*Rhetorical question. Don’t insult me with your answers.*

Part of the problem is that I don’t give movies a chance. If I’m not completely engaged within the first 10 minutes my mind starts to wander. Sometimes I’m trying to figure out what I would have done differently. Sometimes I’m trying to distinguish between harmless moles and melanoma. Rachel McAdams – please see your dermatologist. The Time Traveler’s Wife was released a year and a half ago and I can’t stop thinking about your moles.

Other times I’m over thinking the plot in the hopes of discovering some deeper meaning my butter soaked brain has overlooked. This was the case during Tron.

I was all:

“Oh, it’s The Wizard of Oz.”

“Nah, it’s The Bible.”

“Nope. It’s Star Wars.”

Turns out it was just a bad movie. By the end I was joking around more than the 3 teenage boys behind us who were sitting in a cloud of Eau De Axe. Character in Tron: It’s all in the wrist.
Me: That’s what she said.

I’m amazed The TO ever lets me out of the house. But really? The screenwriter was asking for it with a line like that. Now go forth and write something wonderful, people. It can’t be that hard. That’s what she said.